How to Deal with the Dark Side of Human Nature

Human nature is complex. It’s made up of both light and dark elements—qualities we admire and those we try to suppress. The dark side, which includes envy, anger, resentment, and negative emotions, is something that everyone carries within them. In this blog, we'll explore how to acknowledge, understand, and navigate the darker aspects of human nature, particularly in the context of modern life, where technology and social media amplify these feelings.

Understanding the Dark Side: Envy and the Human Condition

What is Envy?

Envy is a powerful and often painful emotion. It's the feeling we get when we want something someone else has, whether it's their success, wealth, beauty, or relationships. Unlike jealousy, which focuses on the fear of losing something you already have, envy is about wanting what someone else possesses. 

It’s a deeply embedded aspect of human nature—one that most people don't like to admit, even to themselves. Many of us can confess to being self-absorbed or irrational at times, but acknowledging envy is something that feels uncomfortable. It’s easier to deny or hide it, especially since envy is often seen as a “bad” emotion. But suppressing it doesn't make it go away.

Envy in the Age of Social Media

One of the places where envy thrives today is on social media. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok create an environment where we are constantly exposed to the curated, “perfect” lives of others. We see friends vacationing in exotic places, posting photos of their beautiful families or lavish lifestyles, and we can’t help but compare ourselves.

This is a natural human reaction, but it’s also harmful. Social media accelerates envy, as it gives us access to constant streams of idealized images and stories. We start to feel inadequate, thinking that we are missing out on something—whether it’s an experience, a relationship, or success that others seem to have. 

The problem with this is that these platforms only show the highlights. People rarely post about their struggles, failures, or moments of vulnerability. This skewed reality can make us feel like we’re the only ones not living up to some ideal, when in fact, everyone has their own challenges and insecurities.

Envy: A Universal Human Experience

Envy isn’t new to modern society. In fact, it's a feeling that goes back to our early ancestors. Anthropologists have found that envy played a significant role in the survival of early human societies. Among small, tight-knit communities, envy could be deadly. Tribal rituals, like the giving of gifts or sharing resources, were designed to prevent anyone from feeling too superior to others. 

Even chimpanzees—our closest animal relatives—display envy. This suggests that envy is deeply rooted in our biology and psychology. It’s part of the human condition, which means that none of us are exempt. In fact, anyone who claims to be “above” envy might be in denial or even projecting. It’s important to accept that we all experience this emotion in varying degrees.

The Shadow: Embracing Our Dark Side

What is the Shadow?

The concept of the “shadow” comes from Carl Jung, a renowned Swiss psychologist. According to Jung, the shadow represents the parts of ourselves that we deny or suppress—the emotions, desires, and impulses that don't fit with our self-image. These might include envy, greed, anger, or any number of traits that society deems undesirable.

The shadow is not inherently bad. In fact, it’s part of our wholeness. When we ignore or repress our shadow, it often manifests in negative ways, like irrational outbursts, self-sabotage, or projection onto others. By confronting and integrating our shadow, we can become more self-aware and emotionally balanced.

How the Shadow Manifests in Social Media

In the digital age, the internet serves as a massive outlet for our collective shadow. Social media platforms, where people can anonymously share their opinions, are a fertile ground for negative emotions. Trolls, for example, can express cruelty and resentment without facing real-world consequences. These platforms allow people to project their anger, frustration, and envy onto others in ways that would be socially unacceptable in face-to-face interactions.

People may also present themselves as “social justice warriors,” championing causes they feel are righteous, but their actions sometimes reveal a darker side. Cancel culture, for example, can be driven not by a desire to protect others, but by a desire to feel morally superior or to punish those we envy.

The key takeaway is that our darker impulses—things we don’t want to admit to ourselves—can easily spill over in the digital space. We can justify our actions with moral high ground or self-righteous indignation, but it’s important to recognize that these actions may be a form of shadow projection.

The Danger of Suppressing the Shadow

The more we suppress our shadow, the stronger it becomes. This is why people often experience emotional outbursts or act in contradictory ways. For example, a person who preaches morality may later be caught in a compromising situation. Or someone who presents themselves as tough and invulnerable may suddenly display deep insecurities when triggered. These contradictions are the shadow’s way of expressing itself.

Instead of denying these darker aspects of ourselves, it’s crucial to accept them. Accepting our shadow doesn’t mean indulging in negative behaviors, but rather understanding why they exist and how they affect our actions.

Navigating the Dark Side of Human Nature

Acknowledging Envy Without Letting It Control You

Envy, when left unchecked, can lead to resentment, passive-aggressive behavior, or even sabotage. But the first step in dealing with envy is acknowledging it without judgment. When you feel envious of someone’s success or possessions, take a moment to reflect on why you feel that way. Are you longing for something they have because it represents something you value—like freedom, love, or success?

Understanding the root of your envy can help you redirect your energy in a more positive direction. Instead of harboring resentment, use envy as a catalyst for growth. What steps can you take to move closer to what you want? Instead of comparing your journey to others, focus on your own path and celebrate your progress.

Understanding Confirmation and Conviction Bias

Another part of navigating our dark side is being aware of biases in our thinking. Confirmation bias refers to the tendency to seek out information that supports our existing beliefs while ignoring evidence that contradicts them. Conviction bias occurs when we hold onto an idea so strongly that we dismiss all opposing views, often because the belief gives us a sense of security or superiority.

Both biases can distort our perception of reality and reinforce negative feelings like envy. By being aware of these tendencies, we can become more open-minded and less influenced by our emotional biases. This self-awareness helps us make decisions based on objective reality rather than personal insecurities.

Embracing the Shadow Through Emotional Release

When we confront our darker impulses, it can be a powerful release. Suppressing feelings of anger, envy, or frustration only makes them stronger. But expressing these emotions in a healthy way—whether through journaling, therapy, or meditation—allows us to process them and integrate them into our consciousness.

Recognizing the shadow’s presence is an important step, but the next is to find healthy outlets for these emotions. Rather than lashing out at others or turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, embrace these feelings as part of your human experience. You don’t need to act on them, but acknowledging them can prevent them from controlling your actions.

Learning from Contradictory Behavior

We all display contradictory behavior at times. For instance, we might preach kindness but act out of selfishness, or talk about the importance of health but indulge in unhealthy habits. These contradictions are part of the shadow at play. Instead of feeling guilty or ashamed of them, use these moments as opportunities to learn more about yourself.

When you notice contradictory behavior, ask yourself why you acted the way you did. What fear or insecurity prompted that action? Understanding your triggers can help you better navigate future situations and make choices that align with your true values.

Moving Forward: Transforming the Dark Side

Harnessing the Power of Awareness

Dealing with the dark side of human nature is an ongoing process. The key to managing it effectively is self-awareness. By recognizing and understanding the emotions and behaviors we usually suppress, we can choose how to respond in a more conscious way. 

Awareness is the first step toward transformation. The more we can observe our emotions and behaviors without judgment, the more we can shift from reactive patterns to intentional actions.

Practicing Self-Compassion

It’s also important to approach the dark side with self-compassion. We are all flawed, and we all have moments when our shadow takes the lead. Rather than beating yourself up for feeling envious or for making mistakes, show yourself kindness. Acknowledge that you’re human, and that these feelings are part of the experience.

Being gentle with yourself allows you to learn from your emotions without spiraling into guilt or shame. This self-compassion helps you grow into a more integrated and whole person, capable of embracing both your light and dark sides.

Conclusion: Accepting and Transforming the Shadow

We all have a dark side. Whether it manifests as envy, anger, or other negative emotions, it’s a natural part of being human. But by acknowledging and understanding our shadow, we can transform these darker impulses into opportunities for growth and self-awareness.

The next time you feel envious or act out of character, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself what this behavior is trying to teach you. By embracing our darkness with compassion and self-awareness, we can live more authentically, make better decisions, and ultimately become more whole individuals.